I get asked that question many times over. And variations of it, especially because while my friends were getting their careers started, I was busy having Four kids before three0 years of age. “What is it like having Four kids?” “How are you able to handle Four kids?” “Is there any benefit of having Four kids?” Okay, maybe not the last one, but I feel like people always want to know if there is an excellent reason to have Four kids, and I don’t blame them. It is a crucial decision to make, and no one should have Four kids without thinking it over first.
Much like everything else in life, the reality of having Four kids is that it’s both fantastic and not that great at the same time. If you find yourselves in the same shoes or are simply intrigued by what parents feel, then allow me to describe how it is like having Four kids.
It’s great! Crazy right?
Let’s first go over all the reasons why having Four children is a joy. In my opinion, with every child we had, the love in our home only increased. Having a big family is an immense pleasure, and I’m so grateful to have one.
However, this is what I feel, and your preferences can be different based on your way of parenting, livelihood, and other factors. One study in Australia found that parents of Four children were the happiest. Similarly, you might find studies that say elsewise, depending on multiple factors.
One benefit of having Four kids is the interactions they have amongst each other. This helps them learn many things like empathy, communication, working and living together, etc. I feel like siblings can learn a lot from living with each other, almost as much as they learn from their parents.
Another joy of having Four kids is seeing them mingle and play with each other, helping each other with stuff as they grow up. I love watching my Four kids support each other, and it fills me with the hope that they will take care of each other when they grow up.
Don’t get me wrong, there are some arguments and fights, but that is all part of a family. Love wins, and everyone knows that they have to be understanding of each other. Watching my kids grow up and develop into amazing human beings gives me great pleasure in being a mother. It makes having Four kids worth it.
It can get a little insane. It can get tense.
Coming to some of the downsides, having Four kids can get a little chaotic at times. There is no sugar-coating it; if you have Four kids, your house is likely to be loud and messy most of the time.
As a parent, you are expected to meet your child’s demands. This becomes pretty difficult when you have Four kids as to where one requires feeding, and the other involves help with some math concept while the rest are fighting over something.
You quickly get used to the fact that it is not going to be unlike this, at least for a considerable amount of time till they grow up. Your kids will be cranky over certain stuff, and you will have to push them even to do their chores.
Sometimes, you will feel helpless and incapable of dealing with all Four of them. You may also feel at times that you don’t have enough time in a day to focus on each one of your children. These are some of the things I’ve thought about and still do.
One thing to remember here is that time will always be limited. The more kids you have, the more responsibilities there are on your shoulders. You will have to stay ahead of schedule to spend more quality time with your kids. That’s just the life of having Four kids.
It comes with a fair share of the judgement.
Not going to lie, being a big family can draw some eyes in public. This is because families in the west are less likely to have Four kids or more. If you want to have Four kids, expect to draw attention.
Even some of our own family and friends question our decision to have a big family. You can expect people all around to pitch in with their views on how many kids to have.
Another problem that we face with being a big family is not being invited for get-togethers. I get it, having Four kids over is not everyone’s cup of tea. Hence, we usually only meet up with other large families or invite people over to our home.
This, however, doesn’t concern me too much. But I think it is worth mentioning as not everyone wants to stick out or be judged by family, friends, and everyone else.
The most important question – Is it expensive?
I believe this is a major factor in determining how many kids you end up having. Having a big family with four kids doesn’t come cheap, and a lot of your expenditure is impacted by the type of life you lead.
The most common thing that happens in a large family is a compromise. You don’t get to eat out that much, and when you do, it’s usually fast-food – nothing fancy. We also don’t go out vacationing a lot. We often go on trips within our state and mostly skip out on air travel as it is too expensive.
And my husband, I don’t buy a lot of things for ourselves. We have a budget, and we stick to it, regardless of how much we like to spend money on something. We have planned to send our kids to college and save regularly for it, even though we know the price is too steep and we might not be able to afford it.
There is a silver lining, though. We can still get along with traveling in a minivan, and four kids mean a lot of stuff is passed along from the eldest to the youngest. The numbers do add up, and you have to make sacrifices, but what matters, in the end, is the love of a big family, and that is what makes it all worth it.
In Conclusion, Well!
Having Four kids and raising them is an exciting experience. There is no blueprint to success, and yet, you are expected to be amazing at it. There are both pros and cons to having kids, and what matters is how many sacrifices you are willing to make as an individual to receive immense love as a parent. I hope you have gained some insight through the discussion above and now know what it feels to have Four kids.
Erin Keller is the mother of three boys aged 1Four, 1three, 11, and 1 girl aged Four. She currently resides in Fairfield but was brought up in Cincinnati, Ohio, where she also completed her B.A. in Business Economics in 200three. Erin has been very involved with her kids, trying to balance work and life since 2011. Her experience with her kids provided her exciting content for her blog. The blog is Erin’s passion and an ongoing effort of a mom with Four kids.